Readers had a great threadjack a while ago about the best networking events for women, and I thought we’d round up some of their responses and open the floor for a bigger discussion. The initial request was for “internal women events for attorneys, future summer associates, etc. — as in, what kind of events we would attend and support. I’m curious about others’ thoughts – have you attended any events like this that were a hit? Any you hated? This is for a group of 10-15.”

In the past, we’ve discussed whether female-only networking groups SHOULD be a thing… and some readers HATE them, while others have had great experiences and met cheerleaders and mentors. But we’ve never really discussed, if you’re GOING to have a female-only networking group, WHAT to do at the event. (Besides: things may have changed a bit in recent years, as work has gone remote or hybrid and people may still be reluctant to do indoor events.) So let’s discuss!

And again, before we get started, keep in mind that not everyone likes networking events for women, at all. One commenter noted that she hated all of the women networking events she’d been to, saying: “I want to be invited to the events the men attend and be meaningfully included in those.”

Several readers especially hate all stereotypically feminine events, especially if men’s events or regular company/firm events aren’t similarly themed.

I feel like this is really hard to do without leaning into cringey sexist stereotypes. Spa day, mani/pedis, arts n crafts, boutique shopping – BARF. No law firm in 2023 should be endorsing the idea that “X [legally protected class of people] really likes [stereotypical activity associated with that group]!”

The Best Networking Events for Women: Reader’s Experiences

Hosting a speaker to talk about a discrete topic, as well as her career path.

In my field, we had great success for a lunch series where a different speaker (woman) was invited/introduced at each one and gave some intro talk about their work/career path and usually with a brief presentation about a useful topic / learning point and then a question/answer session. During the end discussion, they answered questions about anything, and we often got into very useful life/career management discussions. It was great for networking, finding potential mentors and was a free lunch.

Tea at a fancy hotel. One reader (who wasn’t a fan in general of women networking events) did note that her favorite event was a tea at a fancy hotel near the office that “had no agenda. It was almost as fun as the practice group holiday meal at a restaurant that included everyone.”

Drinks at a fancy boutique (where you COULD shop, but don’t have to).

A private tour of a museum, followed by drinks.

Wine tasting (although it would exclude people who don’t or can’t drink for whatever reason).

Spa events. These were the most cited by the readers, but opinions were VERY divided — as readers pointed out, men were either annoyed they weren’t invited, or else they looked down on the women attending the event because they were “wasting a day.” (Another reader immediately said “absolutely not.”)

On the pro side, though, some people did have great experiences at a spa! One reader noted:

We did a fancy spa afternoon, with one service, massage or facial or mani pedi covered by my company. They effectively bought out the spa, so it was only colleagues in all the amenities and company also provided light snacks. men were also allowed to join but it was clearly being offered to counter balance all the sporting events. It was fantastic. Also confirmed that a $400 massage is really not that different from a $150 one! We also do a lot of boutique fitness classes, sometimes through the women’s group, sometimes open to all.

What Not to Do at Networking Events for Women

Don’t only address parenting issues. Some readers noted that they were really put off when “women’s networking events” only focused on work/life balance and childcare issues — they noted that those events should have been announced as events for parents, with fathers invited and included as well.

Particularly in Big Law or other intense jobs, readers noted, a lot of the women leave before they have kids — so these kinds of events really weren’t applicable. As one commenter noted: “If your lens for taking care of female employees only addresses balancing work with parenthood, then you aren’t addressing the needs of your junior colleagues.”

Don’t pull people out of other networking opportunities to do women-only networking. As one reader described: “they did a “separate but not equal” approach where time is taken away from larger events happening and narrows networking opportunities, i.e., lunch networking that pulls you away from larger networking lunch or a pre-conference breakfast that pulls you away from meeting with clients.”

Don’t do events that teach women how to network like men, such as golfing. “At my old firm, they organized a golf event to help women learn to network. I think that was dumb. You’re not going to be networking with men the way that men do. If you already happen to be good at golf, maybe, but it goes against being authentic. I would never learn to pick up golf to network. Nothing could be more lame.

Don’t only address makeup, clothes, and floral arrangements (!). One reader remembered:

Just don’t be my old firm, where such events included “floral arrangements”, “new trends in makeup”, and some kind of mindfulness workshop (which was ok I guess, but kind of said if you’re stressed, you should manage your stress better). When I suggested workshops more geared to succeeding in a male dominated profession, I was told the committee “wasn’t political”. Ugh.

Readers, over to you — if you’re trying to plan a networking event for women, what are the best activities or themes? Do you prefer simple activities such as a regularly scheduled lunch? (If you hate the very idea of networking events for women, would you go to anything?)

Stock photo via Deposit Photos / diego_cervo.